I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
