Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
