theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
