no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
