I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
