maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
