Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Never underestimate the power of titties
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
