Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
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Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
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