I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
