If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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