At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
