Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
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And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
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Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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