Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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