I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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