I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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