ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
