new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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