I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
