he thought i was a dude.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
