Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
