I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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