Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
