you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
The uberlube is also flammable
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Randomize
