no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize