Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
