You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
