Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
