why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I woke up under a house in Key West
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
