i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
You may now shotgun with the bride
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
