I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
