Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Randomize
