I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Just high enough for therapy.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
