everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
