But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
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You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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