lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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