she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize