i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
