it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
the day after is always just damage control
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
