the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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