it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
