my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
