I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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