I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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