This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
