just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
