Just cropdusted the office
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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