He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
