i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize