So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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