Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
we made out on top of his cat.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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