If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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