Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I think people are normalizing furries
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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