I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
So. Much. Porn.
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