This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
