so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
