1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
My feet surprised me
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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