on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Randomize
