Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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