Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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