This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
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