This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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